Hello from Out of the Blue
by brandtfan
Summary: Five years after Catherine Rollins left Hawaii, she's come back to regain the life with Steve she left behind. Or so she thinks. It turns out he kept his word about moving on. But what will he do when she lands on his doorstep out of the blue? What will she do when she learns he settled down? A challenge given to me by a fellow McRoller using Adele's 'Hello' and 'Someone Like You'.


In a rush to post this, I forgot to explain a few things. oops! A wonderful McRoller by the name of LuckyStarPham commissioned me.. (or challenged me? lol ;) to write a fic based on Adele's new song 'Hello' and 'Someone Like You.' But with a happy ending. It was a challenge but a super fun, emotional one I wouldn't take back and this was the result! And, for the record..Steve being married to someone else is weeeeeeiiiiiiiird. lol ;)

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"Yes, up here on the left." Catherine instructed the taxi driver as she unbuckled herself. "The house with the white arch right there." She continued as he pulled over. Just saying those words aloud and seeing that piece of craftsmanship brought a flood of butterflies to her stomach.

She busied herself counting the money she owed before handing it to the older man and climbing out of the backseat. They exchanged final pleasantries before she closed the door and the man drove away. Turning to face the house she'd come to look at as home in the past, Catherine was full of every emotion from excitement to fear.

She only stood at the end of the walk way for a moment; feeling the need to just jump right in to her mission head first. Approaching the door, Catherine felt something was different. But, she quickly reminded herself it had been years since she'd been there, so of course the plants and decorations near the front of the house had been changed.

She stepped up to the door, fully aware of what this moment meant. She knocked, breathed a big, weighted sigh and waited. She instinctively looked back towards the street, realizing there was no truck parked. Did he still have the same truck? Was he off on a case? She wasn't deterred yet, and was getting ready to knock again when a female voice sounded from beyond the door. Catherine's insides tightened as she waited for the door to be opened to meet the voice.

The person she was met with when it did open took her by surprise. "Uh, hi." She spoke lightly, offering the older woman her outstretched hand. "Lieutenant Catherine Rollins, I'm looking for Steve McGarrett, uh, is he.. here?" She felt odd, asking the women who she couldn't place.

"Oh, hello." A warm smile presided on the creased face before her. "I'm sorry Lieutenant Rollins, Steve McGarrett doesn't live in this house anymore."

Catherine replayed the woman's words in her head, as if trying to decode it. "Uh, I'm sorry, I don't follow. He sold his house?" She was only getting more confused as more information came to light.

"No, no." The woman chuckled lightly. "I would've bought it had he been selling, but he seemed pretty attached. Too attached to sell, that's for sure." She smiled, thinking about her landlord. "Uh, I'm Rose. It's nice to meet a fellow service woman." Rose spoke kindly. "If you give me a moment, I can get a current address for you if you'd like?"

"Yeah. Sure." Catherine smiled, grateful for the woman's help in the hiccup in her plan. When she returned with a scribble pad of paper, Catherine smiled at the kind woman. "You know, I have to say Rose. I'm pretty surprised to hear that Steve would move. I mean, he was practically born and raised in this house. He moved back to his house when he came home after.." She stopped herself, remembering she was talking to a stranger though the woman already felt like a friend. "Well, I guess I always thought of it as part of who he was. Do you have any idea why he decided to move and rent it out?" That question and their entire conversation was casual enough up to that point. But the answer she got was anything but casual.

"It's a great little house, and a great property too." Rose agreed with a small nod. "When Commander and Mrs. McGarrett rented it to me, I felt the charm and warmth instantly." She explained with a large smile, having no idea the impact it would have on the young woman standing in front of her. "But, that was over a year ago now. Do you mind me asking how you know him?" The woman asked in a routine manner. She knew about the life Steve had before meeting him and always had her radar for trouble on high alert when a stranger came to the door.

What? Did she say..? Missus? As in, his wife? As in, they are m _arried_? Steve McGarrett, MARRIED? Catherine felt like the old porch below her feet was going to give way any second now. "He's, ah, he was," she cleared her throat with determination, as if the motion could clear her mind too. "He was an old friend, from years ago." She cleared her throat again, though the action didn't help any of the things she was experiencing at the speed of lightning.  
Catherine sat down quickly, feeling like if she stood for much longer she'd end up on the ground anyway.

"Hmm." Rose replied quietly. "Old friend huh?" She took a seat beside the lieutenant as she spoke.  
Catherine wasn't quite sure how to take the statement. Or question, she wasn't even sure which.

"Uh, yeah. We served together. And uh, I worked for him for a while also." Catherine went into autopilot to respond, though her mind was still racing with that information bomb. Married. HE WAS MARRIED NOW? It was such a shock, even though one small part of her knew her had always feared he would go through with moving on.

"Catherine?" Rose places a gently hand on her forearm. "Are you alright dear?"

"Hmm?" Cath snapped back into reality. "Um, yeah. Yeah I'm good." She tried to smile, but the woman beside was versed enough in life to know it meant nothing.  
She watched the younger woman for a few seconds before seeing the situation with the clarity that came with age.

"So, you two were JUST friends then?"

Instantly Catherine felt both scared and relieved at the same time. "Um, well." She just didn't know what to say. "Is it that obvious?" She blurted out a few seconds later, allowing the part of her that needed the sympathetic ear take over.

Rose smiled and crinkled her face slightly. "I'm sorry, I didn't meant to sound so blunt. It comes with age, I suppose. It was the way you reacted to hearing that there was a Mrs. McGarrett. You weren't expecting that, I take it?"

Catherine truly did not know what else to say to the person who delivered such an earth shattering message. "Listen, I should let you be," She was feeling the uncomfortableness of this stranger asking these personal questions she wasn't even ready to answer to herself yet. She stood up and Rose followed suit.  
"Oh, it's no bother, lieutenant. I've been around a few times myself." She smiled, initially offering an outstretched hand. "And that being said, as far as I'm concerned this conversation never happened." She explained with a knowing grin.

Catherine graciously accepted the gesture and smiled in return. "Thank you, and I'm sorry again for all this." She began turning but was intercepted by Rose's arms wrapping her in a full, all-encompassing hug. "Oh," She voiced her surprise.

"Sorry," Rose replied quietly as she let go. "You just look like you could use a hug and some reassuring words. "Time heals all wounds, remember that." She finished with a brief smile.

Though she knew she was only beginning to fall into the black hole of heartache, Catherine could see and appreciate the woman's efforts. "Thanks." She replied before saying her goodbye and walking back towards the white arch. As she passed through it, Catherine's mind wandered to all the times over the years that she and Steve had gone racing through it to get into the house and into each other when she'd had leave in Hawaii. After months, and what felt like a million miles between them it was always a race to get to the private moments they'd both craved so much. She replayed Rose's words in her mind as she began walking up the street. But the last thing she could imagine happening was healing. Except for maybe having the future with Steve that she wanted, she remembered. It was like her subconscious had sucker punched her into reality.

Wiping the newest incarnation of her tears, Catherine called for another cab as she walked the few blocks to a small bench area on his street.

Once back at her hotel, Catherine kept herself busy with checking out surfing spots and doing anything she could to stop the temptation building in her mind. Hours passed, and then they turned into days. But they weren't healing days, not even a little bit. There wasn't a single moment of each of the days that Catherine wasn't struggling within herself to do what she'd wanted to since leaving the house with a beach.

After spending one entire morning with her stomach in knots, she just couldn't fight it any longer. Having purchased a rental car, Catherine hopped in and floored it to the address she'd received from Rose.

The house was large, too large to have been Steve's idea of a home. She already felt such a spectrum of emotions it was almost unbearable. Walking up to the door, Catherine took a deep breath and rang the decorative plate covered doorbell.

"Catherine," Steve's face was all but unreadable when it registered the figure standing before him. "What..how..Why are you here?" There was no mistaking the edge in his voice. It was not the reaction she'd played over and over in her mind until her visit to his old house earlier that week. Catherine thought she was ready for the possible outcome of seeing him with another woman, but being in the moment taught her rather cruelly that she wasn't even remotely prepared for it. Her eyes darted to the wooden steps below her feet and to the frame of the door, and then to the doorbell. Anywhere that wasn't the harsh reality of Steve's impassive expression.

"Hey, look, I hate to drop by out of the blue, I – "she began timidly.

"Who is it?" A woman's voice asked as she approached from the other side of the door. Cath knew instantly. Her eyes darted to his in a plea of desperation. She gave the slightest of head shakes before a flicker of understanding quickly darted across Steve's face. A second passed before he heaved a sigh and opened the door fully.

 _He knew._ Catherine tried to ignore the pain that came with his choosing to continue the humiliation she faced.

"Hi, can we help you?" The woman she assumed was his wife asked, with way too much pleasantry in her voice. _His wife._ Catherine swallowed, hard.

"Uh, this is- " Steve forced the words out quickly to end the silent tension.

"Amy Burton," Catherine threw out her best fake smile, drawing from her previous undercover experience. "I apologize for turning up to your home like this, but I'm new to Hawaii and looking for a place, and I heard you're the best." Catherine didn't dare let herself look at Steve. She could only imagine what he was thinking, and she hoped it would stay that way.

"Oh," The rather petite, blond woman smiled politely. "I don't usually get clients coming to our home," she gave the tiniest of laughs, looking to her husband for something Catherine couldn't quite make out. "But I suppose you must really be in need of a place to go to that length." She finished, once again turning to Steve. He remained quiet, clearly holding back as much as he could.

"Um, yeah." Catherine nodded, really unsure of where to go next.

"Well then. I guess you probably know I'm Chrissy." She put a hand out and they shook gently. "This is Steve. Come in, take a seat and we can chat about what you're looking for." Chrissy moved herself, gesturing the darker haired woman into the house. She gave off nothing but kindness and a welcoming personality.

It was only then that the light caught the rock on her hand. Catherine supressed the vomit rising in her throat and nodded her appreciation. Though, the absolute last thing in the world she wanted was to step foot in that house.

"Chris, I'm not sure this is a good idea," Steve started, but was quickly overridden by his wife.

"Oh, Steven." She rolled her eyes at him rather playfully. "She's not a psychopathic murderer out to get us, okay?" She chuckled casually and ushered the stranger in. Catherine couldn't quite believe what she was hearing. From the use of his full name, to the way this stranger dismissed him. It all felt like a mission gone wrong.

"Honestly," she clicked her tongue and placed a friendly hand on Catherine's bicep. "He's been out of the crime fighting world for years now and yet he still assumes the worst when he meets someone new. I'm sorry for that, he can be a little intense."

She cast him another light hearted glance before turning to Catherine once again. "Now, what do you take in your coffee Amy? It was Amy, right?" She smiled again before disappearing into what had to be the kitchen.

Catherine stood still, every part of her focusing on not turning and running as fast as she could. With each revelation, she felt herself crumbling more and more. Like the world at her feet was just falling apart piece by piece. She willed herself not to look at him, but as hard as she tried, her eyes reacted like a magnet when he crossed his arms, allowing the shiny band on his left hand to gleam brightly against the sunny entry way. He's _married. Living somewhere else, and out of law enforcement._ _What happened to Five 0? Is he even still a reservist_? With all these unwelcomed, unanswered questions Catherine felt like she was driving head first into a cement wall with no way to stop the impact.

"Steve…" His name came out of her involuntarily, and shocked them both equally. She had no idea what to say to him, even though she'd played out a conversation between them over and over in her head for months. It was all gone in the unbearable moment she heard the voice from behind the door.

"I have to go." He spoke to her, barely audibly. Catherine's mind began racing, thinking she heard something in his voice she'd longed to hear since that day on his front porch almost five years earlier.

"Would you like sugar, or..." Chrissy's question hung incomplete in the air after she came back to the entry way and discovered her guest was alone. "Oh, where did my husband go?" She chuckled, as if embarrassed by his disappearing act. "I promise, he's not always like this."

"Oh, it's fine." Catherine quickly acquiesced. She'd had enough and needed out. "I uh, if I can get your card, I'll call and make an appointment." She turned towards the door, feeling the urgency of her tears becoming increasingly harder to ignore. "It was really unprofessional of me to come to your home, I'm sorry." She quickly crossed the small room to open the large door for herself.

"Oh, sure. I actually have some brand new ones, they just came in a few days ago." The woman was slightly confused but didn't miss a beat before reaching into the expensive looking handbag sitting on a nearby chair. "Oh, shoot. There's none left in my purse. I'll just run upstairs and grab one, hang on a minute." She quickly made her way to the stairs and was gone from view before Catherine made her own hastened escape.

Once out of the door she quickly headed for the cover of the large gate but only made it until there was about ten feet between her back and the front door before she heard it slam closed behind her. "You forgot something!" His voice cut through the sudden pounding rain like the blade of a sword. "Amy, was it?"

"Who _are_ you?" Catherine asked, spinning around in a split second and not taking the bait he'd set. Her question was more accusatory than anything else. "No more Five 0? What about everybody else?" She asked, but he was clearly in no hurry to answer as he seemed to be almost more interested in brushing the water from his face.

"I'm done with that," He eventually answered, hissing defensively. "I guess, I got to a point where," he hesitated, and tried to discreetly look over his shoulder towards the house before continuing. Nothing he could do would get by the person who knew him better than anyone, though. Or, used to know him. Did she still? She didn't know anymore. "I guess, you put yourself in harm's way enough times, and you just hit a wall where enough is enough." His eyes wanted to be anywhere but on hers in that moment, but he just couldn't stop himself.

"Steve, if we could just go somewhere and talk, I'll explain-"

"There's nothing to explain." He was quick to answer her back. "There's nothing to talk about, okay?" He tried to sound authoritative, but there was still a hint of something else there, Catherine thought. "I have to go." He mumbled after holding out his hand with the card in it. And like the bomb that had been dropped on her that morning, Catherine realized their conversation was over before she could fully process what was taking place. She grabbed onto the card hoping it would force a stationery moment between them. He did pause, but then quickly turned his back and disappeared into the sheets of rain after only a few seconds.

Catherine stood near the gate where there was just enough clearance in the bushes to see the front door open and close, and his soaking wet figure disappear from outside. She held herself together until reaching the sidewalk at the end of the expansive driveway. Soon, the tears she lost the battle against were mixed into the rain as she read the name on the small card in her hand. Chrissy McGarrett, Owner/Property Manager.

Catherine stood with the rain pounding now on her face, almost oblivious to its rage as she stewed in her own deep seated pain. Suddenly she felt getting away from that street was the most important goal she could set. Soaking wet, she got behind the wheel of her rental and headed for the hotel she'd come to call home.

The days passed once again, only this time Catherine felt like each minute was one day. Time dragged until eventually, the hours and days went a little faster. She began working again, and as more time passed, the pain and heartache she felt remained as the one true constant in her new life back at home in Hawaii. It was a quiet life; certainly bearing little resemblance to what life with Steve McGarrett was, and would have been. She worked, surfed occasionally, and went home. It took a couple months for the idea of a social outing to sound appealing. She'd decided on the bar at the Hilton in Honolulu, and it turned out to be a decision that would change the course she thought her life was going to take.

"Well, there's a sight for sore eyes if I've ever seen one," a familiar, friendly sounding voice came from the sea of people behind her on the beach. Catherine made no effort to seek out the voice, seeing that she was sitting at a bar and all. That phrase had to be thrown around there like it was 'hello' or 'do you want to get out of here?' There was no reason to think the person was talking to her.

"Catherine Rollins?" The same voice spoke again just as she went for another sip of beer. "Aw, c'mon now! Don't tell me you forgot me!" He laughed, and she made the connection instantly, determined not to miss another beat and to play along seamlessly.

"What?!" She replied, putting the beer down and turning around with a calculated swivel of her stool. "How could I forget the owner of the coolest car in Hawaii?"

Chin smiled as he approached her stool. "She's still a dream to drive. Purrs like a kitten every time I take her out." He replied, laughing as she stood up and they properly greeted each other. "Oh, it is so so good to see you." He squeezed a little tighter, showing his affections.

"You too," she agreed fully. "Oh, you have no idea how good." She continued with a tighter embrace of her own.

When they finished, he happily took the seat next to hers and asked if she was up for another beer. She replied enthusiastically and he ordered for them. "So, you gonna tell me what brought you back to Hawaii, or am I gonna have to ask?" He finally got to the punch after a few sips of beer.

"He got _married_." She blurted out, finally able to voice the thought that she hadn't been able to shake since that horrible mistake of a trip to his new house months before.

"Oh." Chin couldn't even try masking his surprise. "Um, I don't..."

"Were you there? Was Danny, or Kono? Was Five 0 already done by then, or?" Catherine's questions were running from her lips faster than she could stop them.

"Oh, wow." He couldn't help but give off a nervous laugh at her firing squad of inquiries. "Um, yes, I was there. So were Danny, and Kono and Adam. Although they had to leave the reception early, with the baby at home and all."

Catherine felt her heart surge with the first bit of good news she'd received since arriving back on the island. "They have a baby!" She was so elated to hear it, she grabbed him for another hug. "That's so great for them." She was still beaming from ear to ear.

"Yeah, she's almost two now. I'll tell you, she's a mini Kono. Makes me feel old though, seeing her with a little one. She's exactly like what I remember Kono being at that age." He chuckled before sipping his beer again.

"Well, you will have to give me her number. I would absolutely love to see them." Catherine too took another sip, thinking about how much happiness she felt for her friend.  
"So..." She approached cautiously. For as much excitement as she had for Kono, her thoughts about Steve were tenfold. "What happened with Five 0?" She finally let the words she'd been holding back out into the open.

Chin nodded, knowing that subject would come up sooner rather than later. "Well, Lou and I run things now." He paused, letting that information set in. "We've get a decent group, but it's not like it used to be."

Catherine remained silent, processing all of what his explanation meant. "And Danny?" she asked quietly.

Chin put his head down, more and more thoughts of the good times with their old group coming to the forefront of his mind. "He's still here." He sighed. "But after Steve left Five 0, Danny decided he wanted a quieter life. He remembered what it was like with Grace when she was Charlie's age. How she was old enough to know he wasn't there at times, and understand enough to know when he was in danger. He didn't want that for Charlie, so he's working a desk at HPD now."

Catherine took another few sips of her beer before responding. "Wow, that's..wow." She let a tiny, pleasant sounding noise out. "Danny, chained to a desk. That's almost hard to picture." She took another swig, trying to do exactly that.

"I know, I know. We said the same when he told us." Chin smiled. "But, now he's home every night for dinner, never has to cancel weekend plans with his kids, you know. He's happy, so we're all happy for him."

"I'm happy for him too." She nodded. The last conversation she'd had with him was also playing in her mind on a repetitive loop. She had never lost sight of much he looked out for Steve and how much she respected Danny. But as much as she tried to focus on the other members of the Five 0 team she'd come to call friends, there was still another major question nagging at her mind. "Did she make him stop?" Cath asked, hating herself for hoping the answer was yes.

"Who?" Chin asked, before figuring it out for himself. "Oh, Chrissy." He nodded, understanding the conversation had taken another turn towards serious again. "No. No, Steve met her after leaving us." Chin explained quickly. "He was..." He stopped, as if the words were suddenly lost in his mind. "Things were... Different." He paused, his mind frantically weighing the pros and cons of continuing his statement.

But it didn't matter, as Catherine had picked up on his implication quickly. "Different after I left." She nodded with a grimace. "I hate that I did that to him." She added as her head sunk into her hands at the bar. "I regret it, you know. Every single day, Chin. I still regret leaving. It was the biggest mistake of my life, by far." She managed to bring her head up enough to see him listening intently, throwing in a sympathetic nod in here or there for good measure. "Nothing else, none of the bad things that happened in Afghanistan, or on any tour I've done anywhere in the world has made me regret something the way I regret what I did to him by leaving." Her head fell again as if the weight of holding it up was just too much. "And if I could go back and change it, I would. I've woken up every day since then and wished I could go back." She breathed in slow heaves, clearly unable to stop the emotions from escaping her entire body.

"Yeah, but you gotta look at it this way too." Chin put a comforting arm around her shoulders. "You did great work over there, right? The hundreds if not thousands of people you must've helped in Nepal, that's gotta stand for something, right?" He spoke softly, giving her shoulders a gentle rub as he did. "And those regrets and mistakes, they're still memories made Catherine. Important memories, memories of a time you needed to take." He paused, noticing the droplets slipping down her cheeks and hitting her legs. "Hey, hey. It's okay." He persuaded her to lean in for a full hug as the tears continued to fall.

"No, no it's not." She sobbed into his shoulder. "I lied, Chin. I, I had to. I wasn't in Nepal. That was just a cover." She sobbed louder, catching the attention of a few other people in the restaurant.

Chin was too focused on his friend to notice however. "What? I, I don't understand." He pulled away from the hug and took a really good look at Catherine's face. "Nepal was a cover?" His face was riddled with confusion. "A cover for what?"

Catherine wasted no time in answering. "After Kono's wedding I got a call from an old CIA contact of mine. She was looking for someone to assist on a covert op and knew I had what she was looking for." She shrugged, as if questioning her own decisions.

"CIA?" Chin asked very quickly, like a flag had been raised in his mind. "Catherine..."

"I know, I know what you're thinking." She countered quickly to contain his imagination. "It's not Doris, I swear. I haven't seen or heard from her since the last time Steve did." She replied before the reminder that she hadn't been a part of his life for the last five years came barreling down on her again. "I mean, since before I left." She clarified. "Do you know if he's had contact?" She was genuinely interested in knowing if his mother has made another appearance in his life.

"No, he hasn't." He shook his head slowly. "She's still MIA to him."  
The answer was just a further reminder that all the women who've meant something in his life have left him. _Until he got married_ she reminded herself; that gut wrenching reality crashing down once again.

"So you two have stayed close?" She asked in an effort to think about something other than how much of a defeated man she left behind.

Chin finished off the last sips of his beer before answering. "As close as someone who's been through what Steve has can get, I guess." He ordered another beer before Catherine finished hers. "I think I'm gonna take a rain check on that next round." Catherine replied, feeling like her breathing has finally returned to normal. She sighed heavily feeling like the weight of what their conversation meant was resting on her chest.

Chin released a slow breath. "You sure? I've got nowhere to be, so I can sit here as long as you feel like talking." He smiled, hoping she'd take his reassurance of support.  
The message was delivered clearly, but Catherine wasn't convinced.

"What's the point?" She asked more sadly than anything else. "Chin, I came here to see him; remind him of what we had, y'know? Those last couple years, they were the times of my life. And I know. I know he felt the same." The breath she'd finally caught was gone as the weeping swallowed her once again.

"But I had to go help my friend, and that was, leaving him when we were so good was the worst decision I've ever made." She continued crying, feeling the soft, kind touch of Chin's hand resting on her back again. He, meanwhile had been listening while wrestling internally with his emotions for his two friends. "When I went to his house and found out he had this whole new life, I couldn't bear the pain, Chin. For a split second I wanted to just say never mind and run away."

"But you love him too much to give up that easily." Chin finished for her.  
Catherine just nodded in agreement, unable to conceive of words that better described how she felt than the ones he'd used. "I think maybe I will take that next beer." She nodded as a way to acknowledge his understanding and commitment to being there for her.

Chin was secretly relieved as that confirmed the struggle he'd been playing out in his mind. "Can I ask you, why the lie about where you were going?"

After a deep breath Catherine slowly began. "My friend's op, it wasn't sanctioned by The Company. It was personal."  
"She went rogue?" He sought curiously.

"Yeah, which meant no aid, no back up, no safety guarantee of any kind." She continued, knowing Chin was getting the picture by the look on his face. "I couldn't tell him, Chin. If I did, he'd try to stop it. We both know he would."

Chin nodded, unable to rebut because it was a behavioural assessment his former boss has proven right time and time again. "Or volunteered to go with you." He added smartly.

"Exactly." Catherine confirmed. "And that would have compromised her mission and, render my involvement useless."

"Can I ask...?" His face betrayed his emotions by breaking into a small grin.

"Sorry." She was able to reciprocate. "It would be considered classified, if it had been a sanctioned mission."A small grin played on her lips as she used a classic McGarrett line.

"Of course it is." Chin replied laughing a little himself. "You know, she's a lot like you." He added, deciding to venture a little down the road his mind had wanted him to take since sitting down with her.

Catherine almost spit out the sip of her new beer she'd just taken in. "Chrissy?" She asked with no chance of hiding the skepticism.

"Yeah, I know you wouldn't expect it by looking at her, but there's a lot of similarities." He began. "It really didn't surprise any of us that he took a liking to her."

The wheels turned in Catherine's mind, making her see how Steve ended up marrying someone like her. "Oh, what have I done?" She asked the universe as she put her head in her hands again. "That should have been me marrying him if I hadn't been so stubborn, and determined." She took a good long drink of the beer in front of her. "They say time is supposed to heal you but let me tell you. I haven't done much healing in these last few months. It seems like the more I learn, the more it hurts." She sniffled, really wishing she could get through one of these conversations without tears.

Hearing that, Chin decided it was time. He threw caution to the wind and began what he hoped would be a strategy his friends would talk about for years to come. "He had a ring." He made the statement sound plain and normal, as if it was an everyday occurrence.

"Hmm?" she questioned, really not following. "Who had a ring?"

"Steve. He had a ring, Catherine. Before you left." He paused to allow for her reaction. "He was going to propose when you told him you were leaving again."

It was like the fractional progress she'd made over the last few months since being back evaporated all at once. "Are you saying...?" She couldn't even form the words or thoughts her brain was forming at lightning speed.

Chin remained cool, collected as he sipped some more. "All I'm saying is, there's no surprise he married someone like you." He sat cool and casual still, but his mind was on fire. He knew Catherine was picking up the hints he was dropping, and the very thought made him ecstatic.

Catherine studied his face for any tiny clue she could get. Getting very little, she decided to take another approach and firmed up her body language. "Chin Ho Kelly, if you're trying to tell me what I think you are, then I am going to act on it." She had firmly made her mind up in a split second. If the chance arose to appeal to Steve once again, she would not pass it up. The fact that Chin wasn't saying anything agonized her. "Chin, I'm serious okay? If you do not think I should go after him right now, you need to speak up. Now, because if I leave here now that is exactly where I am headed." Her breathing had changed, and so had her body language.

Chin noticed this and it only fuelled him further. He stayed stoic and silent, slowly enjoying the bottle in front of him. In a well-planned tactical maneuver, he glanced at her one quarter full bottle still sitting on the bar even though she had stood up. "Oh," he began slowly, almost as if he was pretending he hadn't heard a word of her 'speak now or forever hold your peace' speech. "Are you gonna finish that beer before you go?" He looked up, ready to enjoy the sheer joy and surprise that would be spread across her face. Only, it was Chin who got the surprise as she was already out of sight when he looked up. "Atta girl." He quietly said to himself with a smug grin before downing the last few sips of his beer and leaving the money for their tab for the bartender.

"Hello?" Steve answered on the second ring. Even the fact that he'd answered caught her by surprise.

"Steve," Catherine wasted no time. "Please, please don't shut me down this time. Can we please meet? I mean, after all these years I know I owe you a better explanation, and I, we just need to talk about everything. Wherever you want. I'm there, Steve." She finally stopped talking long enough to realize he hadn't acknowledged anything she'd said yet. "Hello? Steve? Can you hear me?" She looked at her phone and was relieved to find full bars. "Hello?"

"Where are you?" His voice finally came through to her. It wasn't quite the welcoming tone she'd hoped for, but it she also felt it sounded less harsh than she'd remembered. "Hello?"

"I'm at the Hilton, but we don't have to meet somewhere so public if you don't want to." She felt almost giddy, as if this was the boost she needed to feel like herself again.

"I'm not meeting you at a bar, or a hotel." He still spoke shortly. "I shouldn't be meeting you at all, actually."

"Steve," she tried to say a bit of her peace before he could change his mind. "Just listen to what I have to say, okay? That's all I'm asking. Please?" She begged, feeling like his answering her call in the first place was a good start.

"You have one minute, Catherine." He huffed. "And then I'm hanging up." Steve left a silence after his cold words.

"You want me to pour my heart out to you over the phone?" She asked, thoroughly confused. "Seriously?"

No. I want you to leave me alone." His words began puncturing her heart like a sharp knife. "I want you to find someone. I want you to stop thinking about the past and just move on. That's, it's what needs to happen. Okay?" he finished his tirade as a voice could be heard in the background.

Meanwhile, Catherine almost couldn't breathe. It was as if she'd been shot in close range, multiple times. His words hurt so much more than she could have ever expected, but somewhere, somehow she still felt like if he'd just meet her face to face she could say her peace and he would listen. As difficult as it was, she played his horrible words over again.

"Steve..." She could hardly speak his name, feeling like the hope she had after talking to Chin was too strong to let go of.

"Hmm? Oh, it's..it's Mary." He spoke quickly but it clearly wasn't to Catherine. Steve's voice may have been muffled, but what she took from it came in loud and clear. "What do _you_ want Steve?" she asked, feeling like the danger she'd been in with her life in the Navy was nothing compared to the danger of putting that question out there. Catherine was terrified he'd turn her away again, and she didn't know how she'd handle that. But the glimmer of hope she had couldn't be squashed.

"I have to go," he finally spoke into the phone. "I'm... I'm sorry, Cath." He almost hung up before the words were out, causing her to question if she heard him correctly. But she came to the conclusion that he was apologizing, and that it had to mean _something._ Catherine went to sleep that night trying her best to figure out what that was.

It was how she spent the next few nights, and each morning she woke with very little sleep and even less answers. The hope she held was slowly beginning to ween with all the unanswered questions still so present in her mind. After almost a week of replaying their conversations in her mind and analysing every detail to a point where she could barely see straight, Catherine decided she wasn't ready to be back in Hawaii. She got herself a flight to California and tried to begin anew again.

But it wasn't long before she found her every thought consumed by thinking about Steve, what he was doing and still, what his apology meant. What his lying to Chrissy about who was on the phone meant, what it _all_ meant.

After one too many cocktails from the mini bar in her room, Catherine couldn't stop herself from picking up the phone. She called, but got no answer. When the same thing happened each time she called for over a month, she realized what a huge mistake leaving Hawaii was. Just like she'd done in the first place, Catherine was back on a plane and on the island of Oahu as fast as she could.

Like a recurring bad dream, Catherine found herself in front of Steve's beach front former home before she could really process what she was doing. Except this time when she walked up towards the white arch, she realized the game had changed. Drastically, possibly more than she could have ever believed had she not seen him standing there in front of her as she moved towards the house.

"Hey." He spoke simply, with little expression on his face. The action made Catherine uncomfortable because she couldn't read him. A skill she'd used confidently over the years now seemed like a guessing game to Catherine.

"I called, Steve. I must've called a thousand times!" she recalled with a slight tremble in her voice as they stood in the study. "It rang and rang, like you weren't home. At least, that's what I told myself was happening." She admitted, though not intentionally out loud. "What's going on?" Seeing him again, this time so unexpectedly only made her hurt yearn for him more.

"You wanted to talk. Let's go inside and talk." He motioned towards the door before she took in a sharp breath and entered the house, passing by him as she went.

"Steve, I can't, I.." She trailed off unable to speak through her tears as she began rubbing her forehead and feeling the sudden screeching pain running through it.

"What were you expecting to happen if I did answer?" He asked honestly as they walked into the study. The pain was clear on his face too. Catherine saw it, and knew beyond a shadow of a doubt what it meant. And more importantly, Steve did too.

Catherine breathed slowly before answering his question, but it only managed to slow down the streaming tears. "Somehow, that you'd see me, hear me out about why I had to leave and be reminded that it wasn't over for me. It's never been over for me, Steve. I love you, and I want to say never mind, I'll move on and find someone but, I can't." Her voice broke as the tears had regained complete control now. "No one else could compare to you, don't you see that? I have never been able to forget you, and I knew, I knew you'd find someone else. I can see that clearly now. And you're clearly not torn apart anymore, not the way I am anyway. I don't know, I guess she gives you things I didn't. But please, Steve. I'm actually going to beg. Just, don't forget about me. Please?" For such a strong, independent woman Catherine couldn't believe how incredibly powerless she felt in that moment. She willed herself to look at Steve and took comfort in the fact that there was raw emotion in his face. _Has she made him better with that?_ She shook the evil thought from her mind.

"Catherine," he spoke cautiously. "I tried. But, I couldn't -" he tried interjecting.

But she wasn't having any of it. "No, no. Never mind." She threw her hands up. "I get it, okay? You have a different life now, and that's great for you. I hope the best for you, Steve. I really do." She forced out the last few words and turned, setting her sights on the doorway. If she could just get there, and out of the space where he could see her she could be safe.

"It's over Catherine." His soft voice rang through her ears.

"Yeah, I got that." She snapped, stopping in her tracks in the living room. She braced herself against the wall separating the two rooms they now occupied respectively.

"Just stop, please." She pleaded, feeling like the humiliation she already felt could last a life time. Closing her eyes, Catherine took time to gather the strength she knew she needed to cross the room and get out the front door.

Time stood still as both people stood on their own side of the same wall; both not moving. "No, Catherine." His voice finally broke through the thickness. "With Chrissy, I mean. It's over. It's been over for a while now."

Catherine opened her eyes in a split second. She was equally as shocked by his statement as she was by finding him standing inches right in front of her after saying it. "What..." she more breathed than spoke, an audible gasp peeking from her lips as he stood close enough she could feel his breathing too.

"We decided to split a few months ago. "I moved back into _my_ house." He explained in a slow, meticulous tone. "I tried to move on, I really did." He shook his head as their eyes became glued to one another's. They stood in silence once again, only this time was very, very different. It was as if the thousands of miles that had been between them over the last five years had just evaporated; they were forgotten like they were never there in the first place.

In that moment, all the tears, the heartache and anger were gone. They were replaced by passion, lust and true, inhibiting love as they began reconnecting in the physical ways they'd both been craving since the day Catherine showed up on Steve's doorstep asking for forgiveness.

Their desires weren't left unattended for long; in a matter of minutes they were upstairs and had worked together to achieve skin on skin contact, and then shortly after that the ultimate goal of the most intimate position a couple can be in. They both felt the other's trailing kisses and thrilling, electrifying touch could go on forever, and it didn't take long for Catherine to feel every part of Steve loving her inside and out. Perfectly in sync with the steady rhythm their naked, dew laden bodies had found, they finished and basked in the afterglow together silently for quite some time.

"Why did you leave Five 0?" Catherine heard herself ask when they'd both caught their breath and were laying comfortably with her nestling at his side. Her tone come across as way more brass than she even thought possible and it made her wish she hadn't brought it up. But selfishly, she needed to know. She had to know what made him willingly give up the life he'd worked so hard to be happy in for a world that was sure to be domestic and foreign to him. "Was it because of Chrissy?" she asked, hating herself almost as much for that as she did for what they'd just done, knowing he was still technically married.

"No." he answered simply, and quietly. "When I lost you I didn't know who I was for a while." He began stroking her slightly damp hair, gently moving it from blocking his above view of her gorgeous brown eyes. "After you left, I kept replaying our last conversation in my head over, and over again. It made me realize the irony of you saying that you needed more, and to feel like you were doing something and that I had Five 0 for that."

She stayed quiet, wishing for the umpteenth time that she could go back and erase the conversation he was referring to. She'd replayed it her mind over and over too, but irony wasn't something she'd taken from it. She felt a slightly distant beating of his heart and shifted herself up so that the entirety of the side of her face was directly over it to feel it beating as strongly as possible. "What was ironic about it?" She asked as she settled, her breathing naturally beginning to follow the pattern of his heart.

"Well, you said you needed to feel something, like you were involved with something important, something that made a difference. Like what I had with Five 0." He began.

She mumbled an agreement without moving her mouth and doing her best to quell the pain hearing him say those words caused.

"Except, _you_ were that for me. Not Five 0, not any group or mission I've been a part of." He placed his lips on the top of her head in a sensual, drawn out kiss into her hair before continuing. "So after you left, I was lost. I couldn't get a grip on anything. I felt like I was in a haze all of the time. Like I was always on the outside looking in on everyone around me." Steve continued peppering her hair with slow, delicate kisses.

Stopping the heart wrenching pain she had put Steve through became a lost cause quickly, Catherine learned. She couldn't see his face, but she didn't need to see it to know the hurt he was trying his best to work through. "Steve, I'm sorry for everything; for breaking your heart, for making you feel like that." She didn't know if right then was the best time to come clean about her deceit, but the idea of keeping it from him any longer was simply not an option. They'd been through too much to let something like that destroy what they had again. "I need to tell you what happened when I left." She began, hoping for the best.

Before she could say anything else, Steve shifted their bodies so that he was hovering over top of her. "Cath, I know you weren't in Nepal."

The unexpected upheaval she experienced physically matched the surprise she felt hearing Steve's words. "Just, hear me out, Steve." She felt her body stiffen slightly under his, defensively preparing for his reaction.

"You know," he let out a thoroughly satisfied sigh. "I think we can talk about that later." He gave her the devilish grin he knew wielded all kinds of power over her.

"Oh, 'kay then." She agreed easily. "But I do want to tell you, Steve. I really am sorry for not being honest, and I think you deserve to know why I …" she trailed off momentarily losing her train of thought as he continued his slow, antagonizing expedition from her neck to areas farther south. "Had to go." She finally verbalized as her face began to contort thanks to his impressive abilities.

He paused and moved back up to become face to face with her, leaving her quickened breathing in his wake. "Maybe. But right now, _this_ is all I need." Another mischievous smirk crossed Steve's lips before he continued his path across the smooth, glistening skin of her abdomen.

Catherine was ready to explode again within seconds of him arriving at his journey's final stop at the apex of her thighs. Being there in the most vulnerable state with him made her love him even more than she'd thought possible. All the pain was gone; it was emotional, physical and sexual bliss. When she came back down from her high, Catherine showed Steve just how much she loved him by reciprocating his efforts until he too had reached the height of his ecstasy and then they were connected so deeply once again.

Laying there with Steve's body wrapped so tightly around hers left Catherine feeling slightly uneasy. She was in such a state of peace, safety and love and yet unsettlement at the same time.  
For as much as she had hardly recognized the man who'd kept her at arm's length since she'd been home, it was now she who felt like a stranger. _He was still married_ she kept reminding herself. It didn't leave her feeling as guilty as she had thought it might in the past. But perhaps that was because he told her they'd been separated for months and we're all but that one little piece of paper's presence from being divorced. Wait... The hairs on Catherine neck stood straight up as a new discovery came to her. Months... _Months_?  
Steve..." She lightly tossed his name into the quiet, dimly lit space.

"Mm," he replied after moving his face away from her hair. She could already feel how relaxed his body was in his light breath on the back of her neck and his voice was easily a continuation of that.

"You said you've been separated for months. I have to know, when did you..."  
"I thought I was happy." He breathed a heavy sigh. "I really loved her y'know." He continued, knowing what she was really asking. "But when I saw you, it brought me back to that place where I was when I first met Chrissy." He shifted himself enough to begin slowly stroking her arm stretched out on the bed.

"Heartbroken." She added, feeling her own heart lurching at the idea of the pain she'd caused him.

He nodded into the pillow they were sharing. "And after you left that day I wanted so badly to forget that you'd shown up. I wanted to be mad, Catherine. It was the only way I could let myself move on. But." He stopped abruptly, needing a moment to collect himself. "But, no matter how hard I tried, I realized the day you showed up in Kahala that I couldn't deny how much I still loved you."

"Oh, Steve." Catherine almost whimpered. In one fluid motion she'd flipped herself around to face him. "That's why you pushed me away." She spoke with her face so close to his; her body now completely wrapped around his. "And that's what you were apologizing for the last time we spoke." Catherine deduced. She felt so much lighter finally having the understanding of it all.

He spoke once more, taking in every inch of her face with his hungry eyes. "Seeing you like that on the shore in my backyard before Kono and Adam's wedding made me see how much I had missed you and loved you and how I wasn't ready to move on. Quite the opposite, actually." He took in the sweet aroma of her hair as he kissed her forehead and Catherine listened, tightening her grip slightly. "And then when you left the last time I wasn't even sure I was ever going to feel that way again." he poured his heart out in slow, painstakingly long breaths between matching them with kisses.

"Until you met Chrissy." Catherine added for him. It hurt her beyond words to think of someone else giving him the love she wanted to, but being the one to bring the words to life seemed like a fitting punishment for what her actions had caused.

Steve though, had another thought brewing. "No, Cath." He locked his eyes squarely on hers; blinding himself to everything and anything that wasn't the woman he loved with every part of his being. "Until you came back."

Catherine felt the first tears slowly running down her cheeks. They were tears of happiness and love, all mixed in with confusion, remorse and still so much pain. It was bittersweet to say the least. With very little worry for repercussion, she brought up the weighing factor in all of that. "But, you got married." She spoke directly through his gaze.

His eyes continued their intensifying, soul searching efforts as he thought about his next sentence. "I needed to feel loved, Catherine. I met Chrissy, and I fell for her. But, I realized after seeing you that night that she was just a distraction. Someone I loved, and she loved me. But after a while I felt like something was missing. And, I just couldn't do that to her y'know? She deserves better, and when I told her, she understood where I was coming from."

Catherine took in everything he was saying and was ultimately grateful that he'd been able to understand and express his emotions clearly. It was like the dark clouds that had been hovering over her, and them for far too long had finally lifted and she was able to look in to the future and see bright, happy days again. She felt so content she couldn't help but voice her next thought. "Missing something huh? Like the ability to call in military favours?" She joked, hoping it would earn her the greatest laugh she'd ever heard, the one she'd lost for all those years.

"Something like that." He laughed, feeling the warmth too. He began peppering her with hurried kisses and his trademark grin that meant he was up to no good. For both of them, it finally felt like the ease that came with their long standing relationship was returning to its rightful place. Catherine had come back into Steve's life from out of the blue, and it had brought them both back into the time and love of their lives.


End file.
